We are humans, and we possess emotions. Normal.
However, the difference lies in how intelligently you can handle your emotions. This aspect can have a major impact on your life.
It is important to know the difference between being emotional and not managing emotions well. You cannot blame someone for being emotional.
Humans are supposed to be emotional. Yet, emotional management is something that every human being must know about and practice. This can go a long way in creating a life filled with positive relationships and outcomes, both professionally and personally.
Example of lack of emotional management
Let’s take a common emotion: Fear.
A child breaks a glass. She is now scared that her mom will scold her or punish her. So, she lies and blames it on her sibling. However, eventually, her parents discover the truth and the child gets scolded anyway.
In this case, the emotion of fear could not help the child escape the scolding. So, it proved to be useless. On the contrary, had the child confessed to her parents about her breaking the glass, she may have avoided the lashing to an extent.
But that does not make the emotion of fear useless, does it? What about a situation when you encounter a wild animal? In this case, fear can be a helpful situation. It would make you run to avoid confrontation with the animal.
Here’s where emotional regulation chips in.
Being emotional is okay, but you ought to know when and how to use your emotions or whether to use them at all.
Being emotional vs. emotional regulation
As mentioned earlier, being emotional is perfectly normal.
Not being able to manage your emotions is something you should be concerned about.
Terms like “emotional intelligence,” “emotional maturity,” and “emotional management” are related to each other, yet different.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is a skill that enables you to take the right decisions with your emotions.
Feeling fearful? You must know whether to use this emotion of fear in the particular situation.
Feeling angry? You must know whether to blow your lid or stay silent in a particular situation.
Feeling irritable? You must know how to manage your crankiness and not let the other person or atmosphere get affected by it.
Using EI in your daily life lays the foundation for emotional maturity.
So, in a way, emotional maturity is a virtue, while emotional intelligence is a skill through which you develop this virtue.
And while you use your EI skill and devise self-regulation strategies, you are able to manage your emotions well. So, emotional management happens along the way. It becomes a part of your daily life, similar to time management, money management, and so on.
Ladies and gentlemen, please do not confuse emotional management with controlling or suppressing emotions.
Why controlling/suppressing emotions is a bad idea
Suppressing emotions for a long time can make you similar to a volcano. One day, you will erupt. When this happens, all your efforts to controlling (or so-called managing, as you thought) emotions would prove futile.
Instead, as psychologists suggest, practice the regulation techniques:
Take a diary and pen down your emotions. Do this every day. Watch your emotions evaporate. Journaling is a proven technique of managing emotions.
Take a piece of paper and write down your feelings. Read it aloud. Burn the paper. Feel the difference.
Talk about your feelings to somebody whom you trust. Letting your heart out makes you feel lighter and can even prevent you from making emotional decisions.
Now that you know the difference between being emotional and lacking emotional management, here are a few smart techniques to rein over your emotions, yet stay human.
Emotional management & regulation techniques
Emotional management is something you can learn, no matter how emotional you might be labeled by your family or friends at present.
Here’s what you can do:
1. Practice box breathing technique:
Whenever you feel overwhelmed with emotions, perform box breathing, which is a fine example of emotional self regulation.
- Inhale to the count of 4
- Hold your breath to the count of 4
- Exhale to the count of 4
- Again hold your breath to the count of 4
Repeat
Research shows that deep breathing helps control your emotions. It activates your para-sympathetic nerves. This shifts your body from “fight, flight, or freeze” to “rest-and-digest”.
2. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness activities include meditation, gardening, and even a simple walk with nature.
3. Accept your emotions
Emotions are not “good” or “bad.” They are just – emotions. Accept them. Write them down (as discussed earlier).
If you cannot practice emotional regulation techniques, feel no shame in seeking professional help from renowned life coaches like Aisha Abdulqadar, who will help you find your true self. Book a free discovery session today.
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